“We just refuse to become boring,” declares Atreyu frontman Brandon Saller, holding an album so dull it could have real potential as a sleep aid. “We’re trying to do what isn’t being done” declares Atreyu frontman Brandon Saller, waving an album of recycled riffs and choruses so generic and formulaic it would make the AI slop bucket blush. “It’s our heaviest, most metal record we’ve made, but it’s also the biggest musical journey we’ve taken in years” declares Atreyu frontman Brandon Saller, aggressively chasing us brandishing an album stuffed with riffs that wouldn’t frighten a toddler and a musical journey on the scale of a leisurely stroll to the supermarket.
The opening track is titled ‘The End Is Not The End’ and if there’s any truth in that, we are in very serious trouble. If we don’t get to stop listening after these 13 tracks then people are going to be in immediate mortal danger. Metalcore Groundhog Day is not what we signed up for. Second track ‘Dead’ works as a sort of themed bingo card for all the reasons not to listen to this band. The lyrical work is juvenile and lazy to the point that we’re surprised not to see ChatGPT or Grok credited as co-writers. After a decades-long career and global success we really hoped that Atreyu might have either cheered up a bit or outgrown their high-school level vocabulary and emotional depth, but there’s little evidence of that here and we’re even treated to a theatrical tough-guy spoken word breakdown to cement our conviction that they stopped maturing when they sprouted their first chin hair.
“Who could possibly throw their whole force of belief behind such trite and meaningless dross?”
The vocals are at least delivered with a measure of passion and conviction, but this almost makes the listening experience worse because who could possibly throw their whole force of belief behind such trite and meaningless dross? The second hand embarrassment we feel listening to these songs overshadows any positives we could pick out from the rest of the band, who fulfil their obligations to the metalcore-but-not-really formula capably but without ever catching our ear or departing from this extremely tame rollercoaster’s tracks. There are some token attempts to inject some life into the tired metalcore template, but a few shoehorned synth lines and Casio keyboard drum samples (mixed sheepishly low, as if they were in any way more embarrassing than the songs themselves) aren’t nearly enough to cut through the aggressive beige curtain of mediocrity that seeps from our speakers.
Hilarity ensues during the song ‘Ego Death’ – if this is something they truly did experience then we wouldn’t be subjecting ourselves to this phenomenally tedious listen, and would be free to pursue more wholesome and fulfilling activities, like mowing a lawn with our teeth, or plunging the toilet with our bare hands.
Whatever criticism we level at this record, Atreyu at least are fully committed to the bit. Let’s take a look at ‘Death Rattle’ which we assume is a self-referential look at their career. “Cool Motherfuckers say uhhh” might be the worst lyric ever committed to record, but shortly after this pearl Saller, without a hint of irony, bellows “I gave the best of me, I gave my everything” which might be the saddest lyric ever committed to record. Superlative stuff.
Special mention must go to Max Cavalera, who has finally managed to oust being forced out of his own band from top spot in his list of career embarrassments by featuring on ‘Children of Light’. His appearance is the only thing to note, as the song itself is so dull that we won’t waste our time acknowledging it any more.
It takes a lot of time, dedication and commitment to keep a band going for 20+ years, so Atreyu deserve extra special plaudits for doing so despite their career being so obviously over 7 albums ago. We might not find any redeeming factors in the album itself, but if nothing else the fact that this fecal calamity of a record has dropped into the toilet bowl fully formed is a testament to the mental fortitude and inner strength of its creators.
We salute you, but please, please don’t do it again.